Deathcare

NOTE: I've sat on this one for a while... This post states some unpopular views and does not regard dead people as being any better or worse than dead squirrels... so if this level of regard for mortal remains is unappealing to you, perhaps this post is not for you. Any comments which contain remarks like "You insensitive PRICK!" will be deleted. My blog. Don't like it? Start your own and bitch there. It's free. You have been warned.


I tried to think of a title for this post... Honest I did!

People die every day, and have been doing so for quite some time. In fact, people have been dying almost as long as there have been people. When people die, various cultures have a variety of activities and rituals which surround the disposal of human remains. The bottom line is the disposal of human remains. This is a topic which makes so many people so very uncomfortable and needs rational objective attention.

Being an atheist, I have no special regard for humanity. By that, I mean that people are living things, and, provided they conduct themselves with reasonable respect for other living things, should be treated with similar respect. I don't think that people are intrinsically any better or worse than lions or kudzu vines or jellyfish.

In fact, many people are awful. There are plently of mean, cruel and sadistic people out there who actually take pleasure in making other people miserable. They're in all cultures, too... Darfur, Afghanistan, Iraq (under Hussein and US Control), Viet Nam, China (under Japanese occupation and under Maoist rule) and even the good ol' U.S. of A.... Remember the kindness with which the indigenous folks of the Americas were treated by the European invaders...

So people are really just bags of protoplasm... good, bad or indifferent. I mean each of us has "special people" in our lives. I can certainly respect having "special people" in our lives... I have "special people" in my life. The special people in my life are special to me because they have the personalities they have and are involved in my life in a significant way. I value these special people in life for their personalities and their roles in my life. I don't really value the protoplasm, except as a vessel and/or vehicle for the personality... or ... "spirit".

So... What does all this mean? What's my point? What got me going here? Um... Well...

OK... I've been to several funerals in my time. Most of them have been in some sort of Catholic-derived tradition, because I grew up in a mostly-Catholic family. I've been to a couple Protestant-Chrisitian funerals. I haven't been to an atheist funeral. ... or a Viking funeral. That would kick ass! ... or a Jedi funeral pyre... that would be pretty cool. ... but all these traditions (except atheism) are rooted in the sanctity of the mortal remains of the recently-passed. ...and by "recently-passed" we mean "recently-dead". That's right. Dead. Can we say that? Dead. It feels wierd, doesn't it? When you're talking about a squirrel that got tagged by a passing car, you don't mind saying, "dead"... but when we're talking about our Mom or Sister or baby, we don't dare say, "dead"... we say... "passed on" or "lost" or "no longer with us"... like... dead.

So... what do we do? More specifically, what does Mr. Ursuspacificus think we should do? We always hear that funerals are not really for the dead, they're for the living... they're for the survivors. If it's not really for the dead, why are they even involved? What's the point of having a taxidermied human corpse in the room while we talk about how nice and kind and wonderful and funny the dead guy or gal was? Could we dispense with the corpse? ... and if so, why do we have to put it in a steel box, sealed in a concrete crypt under six feet of dirt? Couldn't we just blow 'em up?... or leave 'em to the raccoons?... I mean ... it's just a bag of protoplasm, after all. I realize this is not a popular viewpoint, but... Even if you believe in an immortal soul, if the body was its vessel in life, that life is over now... the vessel is an empty shell. We love the soul and it's moved on. The shell is just a carcass.

You want to have a ceremonial disposition of that carcass? So be it... but don't eat valuable real estate and lock up valuable organic compounds and minerals in a concrete and steel vault. Give the body back to nature. Burn it, bury it without a casket or dump it in the ocean. The world needs the minerals, organics and protein. Think globally, act locally.

So you've already asked this once already... where did this all come from?! OK.. blame it on Penn and Teller. Their show, "Bullshit," is marvelous. Midway through season 2, they did a show on "deathcare". "Penn&Teller's Bullshit" is a wonderful show, and this episode is particularly fantastic. I recently watched a few episodes, including the "Deathcare" one, from my DVD collection... and... it got me thinking.

Death works the same for squirrels, kudzu vines, lions, jellyfish and people.

Penn had a lot to say in the episode on "Deathcare", but, to me, the most poignent bit was, "The time to treat people right is now, when they're alive." This is an important point. This is the truth. As much as I might find it tough to be kind or gentle or polite to someone, the truth of the matter is that do so while that person is alive is the way, and really the only time to let that person know that he or she is loved. To pray to the god-du-jour asking that he/she favor your recently departed friend/relative is a little foolish, as the god-du-jour will not do anything to comfort your living friend or relative. Instead, tell your living friened or relative that you appreciate him or her.. maybe even that you love him or her.


So... how ever you might feel about death or what happens to you after death, please respect my wish:

My final wish is that my mortal remains be placed in the cockpit of a sea kayak, such that the kayak float upright irrespective of how my remains might slump, and that that kayak, be loaded with flammabale and/or explosive materials in its cargo spaces, such that, once it has reached a safe distance from shore, it be ignited , that all on shore may know that I was and will be no more.

What is done with my computers, guitars and drums is up to those of you with opposable thumbs, who can make use of them.